In 1960, I was sitting on my living room floor in front of my black-and-white television watching one of the presidential debates between Richard Nixon and John F. Kennedy. It wasn't my favorite show, but my parents watched it and it was like homework and they told me, “This is how democracy works.'' I was almost 8 years old. As I fidgeted on the shag carpet, wondering how long this was going to last, I also accepted the fact that the two men on screen were at odds with each other and probably didn't like each other, but they did that to each other. I remember that. I was always polite in my disagreements. My lesson was that this is how adults should behave.
Twenty years later, in 1980, I watched my father, Ronald Reagan, debate Jimmy Carter. There was a moment when then-President Carter definitively (but politely) criticized his father for opposing Medicare. His father smiled, cocked his head to the side, and said, “See you later.” He went on to explain that he opposed one bill but supported another that he believed would provide better health care. It was the way he did things that was memorable. He doesn't get angry or sarcastic or mean, but instead uses humor. His calm and easy way of ignoring criticism and setting the record straight was in stark contrast to Carter's solemn demeanor. I think in that moment he won the argument and showed Americans who had doubts about his character that he was unflappable.
Cut to 2000, when George W. Bush and Al Gore debated. During the third debate, during Bush's speech, Gore crossed the stage and got too close to his opponent. Mr. Gore basically invaded his territory, while Mr. Bush simply turned, gave a friendly nod, and smiled. He might have been better off saying “Hello.” Mr. Gore may have essentially scored more points, but people remembered that moment. They remembered a man who exuded a cool, likable personality in the tense environment of a debate.
Many of us now remember a time when people were expected to meet a basic level of dignity in the political arena, when candidates claimed to be adults who understood the value of civility. But I remember. Because they thought, and we all generally believed, that's what the voters wanted. And it was expected. But sadly, more and more Americans see political maturity, sportsmanship, and above all civility as elitist and bogus traits that don't speak or act like ordinary people. There is. As a result, some politicians consider campaigning to be another version of a mixed martial arts fight. There was a time when presidents delivered the State of the Union address without receiving heckling from elected officials sitting in the audience. There was a time when candidates debated each other without interrupting or insulting each other. There was a time when Republican presidents and Democratic House speakers talked to each other like Americans in the same boat, trying to solve problems through give and take. Seems like a long time ago.
