From an early age, I understood that I was different from other children my age. From speaking French at home, traveling to Canada every school holiday, and receiving comments from strangers about my accent, I realized that I was from two countries. Did. Being French-Canadian, I knew that most people I was going to meet would mispronounce and misspell my first and last name. That still applies to me.
Being a French-Canadian American hasn't been as smooth sailing as I expected, but it hasn't been difficult. Sometimes it was simply difficult as I felt pulled in different directions and conflicted about where to call home.
There is no handbook that tells you how to act like a native of two countries, how to be an exemplary dual citizen, or how to be a bilingual child when most of those around you are not. My parents immigrated to the United States, and since I was the first generation to grow up in the United States, I felt like I had to figure it out on my own. I wasn't able to grow up living less than 10 minutes away from my uncles, aunts, and uncles like my parents. I never had the chance to become best friends with all my cousins. In fact, since I only see them once or twice a year, I feel like I still don't know many of them. Unfortunately, this is the reality of living in another country over 3,000 miles away from her family. You may feel like a complete outsider to your family and to what you call your country.
Although I am a first-generation American, my experience is not at all similar to that of immigrants from other ethnic and cultural backgrounds. I recognize that I have the privilege of living somewhere and not being subjected to racism or discrimination, being told to “go back to my country” or being stereotyped. But I don't want to talk about other people's experiences, I want to talk about my own. I don't know what it's like to be an immigrant from a culture where white people aren't the majority.
Being from two countries means you have two Independence Days to celebrate, two flags to proudly hang on your front porch, two cultures to be proud of, and an Olympics. It means we have two countries to root for. But what if you feel connected to both countries in different ways? One is the country you grew up in, the other is the country your entire family is from.
After 21 years, I still don't understand it, but I do know that being from two countries is a beautiful thing. Just because you have an atypical first-generation experience doesn't mean it's not valid. They just look and feel different. You can love both countries and cultures and hate the other at the same time. He doesn't have to choose just one country to call home.
I know that not everyone can say the same, so I feel very lucky to be from two great countries and have two different cultures that I can relate to. My French-Canadian heritage is very important to me and I am very grateful. Even though I didn't grow up in Quebec with all my cousins, I found that I can still relate to my heritage because home is where my heart is. For me, that means a part of my heart will always be in Quebec, but also in the United States.
Amelie Lavallee is a reporter for the Beacon. Contact her at lavallee25@up.edu.
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