Jacobo is a filmmaker and lives in Imperial Beach.
I strongly believe that May should be officially designated as National Mother Month. If that sounds like a far-fetched idea, you should know that there is considerable precedent for this. Multiple cultures in the United States, including more than half of the Hispanic population in the United States, already celebrate this holiday multiple times during the month of May. He is known as a Mexican-American.
Although I have lived in many different cities throughout my life, I have always identified as Mexican-American and Southern Californian. This is not only a linguistically complex designation, but also culturally complex. Therefore, people often ask why Mother's Day should be celebrated on two days instead of one. The answer is simple. In Mexico, Mother's Day is traditionally celebrated on May 10th, rather than the second Sunday in May as in the United States. This inevitably leads to the question, “If Mexican-Americans already celebrate one Mother's Day, why do they celebrate the other Mother's Day?” The answer is not that simple, and may perhaps be difficult or unacceptable for some non-Latinos to fully accept.
Despite the well-worn “machista” stereotype that remains the basis for many media depictions of Latinos, Mexican American culture is matriarchal in many important ways. It's a target. While there's certainly no denying that “masculinity” is still the default practice in many Latin families, I've always found women to be the power behind the family throne. In my family, it was my grandmother who brought us all together. My grandfather was often strict and stubborn, but he was ultimately malleable, and I always believed that the power he wielded was only that my grandmother gave him and allowed him to exercise. I had this feeling. In contrast, my grandmother was more loving and gentle, but there was never any question of her authority. Even if they were our grandfather's words, they were his words and to us they were the law.
That is why every year on May 10, all our relatives gathered to honor our grandmother. It must have been a relief for her because that was the day she didn't have to cook, but we loved her cooking so much less popular among the rest of us was. The next Mother's Day in America was usually a smaller, more modest event, but just as important. On that day, my immediate family usually celebrated my mother at a restaurant, as her cooking was much less popular than her grandmother's. But my mother created her own hierarchy within our family unit. At that time, she was definitely on top, so her father arranged for us to eat at a nice restaurant and bought her a gift, ostensibly from her children. He gave it to me. And although we knew we were too young to pick and buy things ourselves, it would be a lovely day where everyone did their part and honored their mothers.
I grew up thinking this was a unique Mexican-American cultural oddity until I learned that Salvadorans and Guatemalans also celebrate their mothers on May 10th. For this reason, I did some in-depth research in the form of a basic Google search and discovered that different cultures celebrate mothers on different days throughout May. It would be foolish to think that their families did not come together to celebrate their patriarchs in the same way, despite cultural and language differences.
Sadly, our grandmother is no longer with us, but we are glad that the matrilineal system she established for us remains strong. Now my mother rules with a hidden iron fist, organizing gatherings, hosting holidays, and otherwise keeping the extended family together. On Mother's Day in Mexico, we still happily gather together to celebrate our aunts and uncles. Next Mother's Day, when my aunt's grown children focus on individual celebrations with their own children, my immediate family, who don't yet have grandchildren, will gather for once. More to celebrate them once again. Mothers are the glue that holds families together, not just Mexican and Latino mothers, so if I had a third chance to celebrate them, I would gladly do it.
So, let's talk about matriarchy! May you forever pull the strings! And from now on, may we use the entire month of May to celebrate it properly.
