CLEVELAND, Ohio – Here are some things students don't hear from speakers at most commencement ceremonies.
Crazy relationships are…crazy
This causes accidents for people of all ages, not just young people. You get involved with someone. It doesn't even have to be romantic.
Years ago, I knew a sportswriter who started betting on games. He was influenced by another writer he admired, and he also liked to bet on sports. He started gambling to impress his new friends. Both ended up ruining their careers, especially because they were involved with illegal bookmakers.
Some people start going out for drinks after work to be part of a group. It quickly gets out of control. Then you realize that your “friends” don't care about you.
It's easy to relate to someone who is clearly emotionally unstable. You may not want to admit it, but deep down you know it. I think the Holy Spirit is whispering to me, “Be careful, that person is not good for you.''
Suppose someone was telling you about the kind of relationship you are in now. Would you advise that person to stay in the relationship? Is just because you don't want to be alone a good enough reason to stay in a relationship that you know is destructive?
I read some of the recent commencement speeches. No one told me I needed to be careful about my friendships or romantic relationships.
Not all opinions are needed
In 1979, I was 24 years old and covering the Baltimore Orioles for the Baltimore Evening Sun. I was the youngest full-time MLB writer in the country at the time, and I thought that made me an expert in every field.
“If I were running this newspaper…” I said to an older reporter on the staff.
“You’re not,” he said.
Then there was a painful silence.
“I just got here,” he said.
He was right. I grew up in Cleveland and was in Baltimore for about three months.
“You don't really know much about this newspaper or how it's run,” he said. “Nobody wants to hear what your Pope says.”
He then explained that if I had any ideas or complaints about my job, I should go to my boss. he talks about it. Exchange ideas. Ask for opinions. listen.
“That's the important thing,” he said.
Who do you date?
Early in my career, cool men seemed to be older men who were often negative and sarcastic. I started spending time with them and adopting their attitudes. It was like a virus and it affected my outlook on work.
As someone later said, “You haven't even lived long enough to be that cynical.”
There are a lot of people in the news industry who love to complain. Again, this applies to many other businesses as well. In fact, negative people attract other negative people. They don't have your best interests at heart. They just want you to be in the same dire situation that infected them.
This is one of the questions I ask people who are upset about work. If you know everything you're doing about this job, why not apply for it? ”
That leads to clarity. If the answer is no, keep your current job and diligently search for another job.
If the answer is yes, be grateful for what you have and look for positive ways to improve your situation. Seek advice from other successful people.
they don't read your mind
I've been with people who complain about their jobs.
“Did you tell your boss that?” I said.
“No,” he said.
“Why not?” I asked.
“He should see it,” he said. “And he won't care.”
I said, “If you don’t bring it up, how will you know?”
“Because that’s just what I do,” he said.
“You don’t want to deal with the problem,” I said. “It's easy to complain about that.”
We then discussed the issue and came up with ideas on how to convey it to our boss. Don't vent, explain.
I say a simple prayer before important meetings and ask for wisdom and the ability to express ideas clearly.
On time
Do we respect other people’s time?
We expect others to be on time, but we can forgive ourselves for being late.
If you're going to be late, call the person and let them know. In fact, give yourself some time.
If you start a sentence with “If all goes well, I should be there by 5 p.m.,” stop and tear your tongue out.
Reality: “Everything goes well” rarely.
In fact, if you think you'll be there by 5pm, tell them you'll be there by 5:30pm. No one will be upset if you arrive early.
Also, if you're traveling 30 minutes to work or an appointment, allow 45 minutes to get there. It takes the pressure off. Often, by the time people arrive at a meeting (or lunch with friends), they're very tired, nervous, and exhausted.
I hate to admit it, but repeatedly being late is selfish. They say that their time outside is more important than other people's time.
don't be afraid to speak
We live in the age of cell phones and text messages.
I love texting for basic information. Positive writing is the best.
However, if you need to have an important conversation, at least make a phone call, even if you can't have it in person. Listening to the tone of your voice is very important.
Comments that are supposed to be funny may seem hurtful in writing.
I've learned to stop texting and ask, “Can we talk on the phone?” Hearing your voice is important to me. You are important to me. ”
This will save you a lot of pain and misunderstandings.
Remember: not all opinions (especially about politics) need to be expressed to everyone. Not all texts written in anger need to be sent.
it's not just you
Connection with God is important.
As I was trying to decide whether I wanted to deepen my faith, an older friend said to me, Life is difficult. You can either walk your life with God or you can walk your life without God, and it's going to be difficult. ”
He was a wounded man in Vietnam. His older brother died in that war, and his daughter, who was in her 20s, also died of cancer. He experienced ups and downs in small business.
Life was tough, but he got through it with God.
Much of this advice concerns the Golden Rule of treating others in a godly manner, or treating others as you would like to be treated.
Do you have any advice for graduates? Please send it to me by email. Keep it short and to the point. I'll use some of them in future columns. Please enter “GRADUATES” in the subject line. Use your name. Send it to terrypluto1234@gmail.com
