I was so distracted by the busyness of the year-end season that I had hidden this fact in the back of my mind. When I tried to hold her hand, I was shocked.
We are reaching another milestone in our journey together. Soon, she may bristle at the idea of needing my help to safely navigate this world. She has graduated from middle school, and I am left wondering where the time has gone.
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A similar bittersweet feeling seems to be enveloping many of my friends whose kids are reaching the same milestone. Photos of once-chubby-cheeked kindergarteners in tutus and soccer cleats keep popping up in group chats. Perhaps this reflection is a way of holding on to the past, knowing there will come a time when you need to let it go. Or at least, loosen your grip.
Middle school can feel like the last time in a child's life that you can pretend they're not growing up — a time when you can still buy them Lego sets and coloring books and play with them — the last time their view of the world vacillates between childlike innocence and a more sober reality.
For many adults who look back on this delicate middle age period in their lives, this period of self-discovery is mostly remembered as a terrible time.
Experts say that in middle school, many kids start thinking bigger and worrying about how they're perceived. But they're not open to the world and don't have fully formed opinions. One of the strongest desires they have is to avoid humiliation at all costs. Of course, a healthy dose of humiliation always lurks in the formative years.
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I'm in the minority who liked middle school, but I'm not sure why. After all, my best friends weren't made there, and it wasn't when I discovered my passion for writing.
So what was it that I valued so much about that period of my life?
Maybe it was a sense of freedom, learning to think for yourself, navigating a social minefield.
My daughter and I have seen at least half a dozen movies set in middle school, and the storylines have many similarities: the haves and the have-nots, the bullies and the bullied, the popular kids and the ones who try to be popular, the kind-hearted kids and the cold-hearted kids.
From these films, we learned that hardship builds character, that self-reflection leads to change, and that middle school can be a dangerous detour on the road to something better.
Middle school is a time full of choices and experimentation, a time when teenagers begin to figure out who they are, though it may take years for them to know for sure.
The end of middle school is when students start putting all those hard lessons into practice.
My daughter said she and her friends plan to “lock in” in high school, which is Gen Z slang for becoming focused and dedicated to a goal, and to “glow up,” which is Gen Z slang for making a big change in appearance and maturity.
It takes a village to get into college. He built a village for them.
At home, many of these changes are happening behind our now-often-closed bedroom doors. We love music, but these days the soundtrack to her life is split into separate playlists. She frequently asks when she'll finally learn to drive this summer, and tells me that she and her friends plan to get summer jobs at ice cream parlors when they turn 15.
I respond to my daughter's enthusiasm for high school and official teenage life with encouraging nods and meaningful smiles.
She will soon graduate from middle school and I will lose her, but there is so much more to come in her journey and in our journey.
I'm sure there will be difficult roads ahead, but I will make sure she knows my hand is always there to hold whenever she needs it.
Read more on the Real Life blog at www.ajc.com/opinion/real-life-blog/. Also, follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/AJCRealLifeColumn and Twitter attranslator) or email nedra.rhone@ajc.com.
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