Keyonna Hall is a social worker and community organizer in Mansfield, Texas.
For many single moms, Father's Day is a sobering reminder that they are raising their children alone. But in our home, the day has a different meaning: It's an opportunity to honor and celebrate the many men who step up to fill the father role in our sons' lives — the men who support, love and guide them.
I have two sons, 11 months apart, and there have definitely been some tough days. One is walking, one is crawling. One is potty training, one is in diapers. One is talking, one is muttering. They were fun, but after I lost my dad, I was in a bad mood. I continued to feel hopeless, worthless and angry. I worried my boys would feel empty.
Then one night, my father-in-law invited me to dinner. He acknowledged my efforts and praised my sons for being well-behaved and smart and what a light they brought to his life. He helped me realize that my emotions were obscuring the way he and other men treated us.
Yes, I often think that life would be easier if I had a spouse to share the care of two busy toddlers (not to mention working full time and juggling graduate studies with my son's battle with epilepsy), but I also have a lot of wonderful “uncles” who help with childcare for my kids.
Uncle Fred, a father of four, video calls my sons every Thursday. Uncle Christian, a truck driver, visits whenever he’s in town and serves as co-instructor and DJ for their freeze dance sessions. Uncle Theron, their only real uncle, guides them through milestones like potty training and accompanies them to haircuts. Uncle Bobby, the dreadlocked one, teaches them to love their hair, and Uncle Tonio draws them into endless role-play. Uncle Cedric, despite his own health challenges, includes my sons in his plans and supports us in many ways. Their barber, Uncle Avery, and the men in his shop are also integral to our village. And their grandfather, Papa, shows my sons the same unconditional love he showed to me and my brother.
This village supports me, too. I get to show my sons that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. They understand that family is defined by love and commitment. The men in their lives teach them about kindness, loyalty, and perseverance.
This Father's Day, my heart is filled with gratitude. Thank you to all the men who stepped up to help make sure my boys grow up to be the fine men they will be.
