Over the weekend, Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker gave the commencement speech at Benedictine College. He covered an amazing range of ground. In just 20 minutes, he attacked IVF, abortion, birth control, Pride Month, Biden, surrogacy, and, in the most viral clip, working women. he said:
“I want to speak directly to you because I think it is you women who have told the most egregious lies. Are you the only one thinking about this? The promotions and titles you get in your career… But if I had to guess, the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into the world. I think there are.”
I can't say that at 22 years old I fantasized about becoming a mother. Personally, I wanted to be the kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs.
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The “devil's lie” that Butker warns about seems to be the idea that women need a career to be fulfilled. But Bhatkar isn't upset that women think they can't be housewives. He is angry that they may not want that to happen.
In fact, let's try to see what this would mean in practice if the majority of women who graduated from college did not heed Butker's advice and join the workforce. I will leave aside the well-documented mental health effects on women who are forced to do housework. This is because I think it's possible that Mr. Butker doesn't care. Instead, I would like to think about how this affects the rest of society.
Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker.
Denny Medley/Reuters
First, there is the impact on the economy as a whole. It's a common misconception that 1950s housewives are “traditional.” In fact, the stay-at-home wife/worker husband model only really became common in the 15 years or so after World War II, and was much more common in white families, during economic booms and (Historian Stephanie Coontz has written books on this).
Although housewives existed before and after that time, the idea that “housewife” was the default occupation for women throughout history is clearly false. Women have worked outside the home because they needed to, and because they still need to do so today.
It feels so stupid to cite statistics about the benefits of women in the workforce, but here we go. In 2014, women's paid work accounted for 37 percent of the U.S. GDP (excluding work at home). The IMF estimates that gender gaps in the labor market can boost GDP in developing countries by up to 23 percent, and women hold 42 percent of our country's “essential” jobs.
In short, we need women to work. There are all kinds of jobs that need to be done. The important thing is not to be a soccer player.
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Second, there is the impact on individual families. This issue is complicated by the fact that the high cost of child care drives some parents out of the workforce, and that stay-at-home parents make valuable (and often undervalued) economic contributions to their families.
However, in general, single-earner families are in more financial trouble. For example, the poverty level in a household where the girlfriend is the only breadwinner is about four times higher than in a household with two income earners. To make matters worse, Mr. Butker's speech was addressed to college graduates. Among student loan borrowers, the average debt for 2023 college graduates is $38,290. If he's going to tell women not to have a job, he should at least have the decency to do so before they burden themselves and their families with $40,000 in debt!
Butker said in his speech that his wife does not regret her choice not to work. What he doesn't mention is that he makes about $4 million a year.
Kansas City Chiefs placekicker Harrison Butker kicks a field goal during the fourth quarter of Super Bowl III against the San Francisco 49ers at Allegiant Stadium.
Kirby Lee/Reuters
And maybe Mr. Butker is reading this (I doubt it, but I doubt he's reading it) and thinking, “Okay, women should stay at home unless they have to work.” . But it's not that easy. Women pay a significant economic penalty by having their time removed from the workforce. She may not be able to re-enter later. Let me be clear: that is wrong.
It's wrong that women have to pay fines for taking time off and that they don't have more financial support for their families. It must be easier for families with one worker. I don't like the idea that women should join the workforce because they have to economically, even if that's true.
I agree with Mr. Butker to some extent. I believe that if someone's dream is to be a stay-at-home mom, she (or he) should be able to make it happen. However, the difference between Butker and me is that I don't believe that one can broadly define one path in life. Each woman must make that decision for herself.
Mr. Butker agrees with me to some extent. I just know that. Many of the men who fight against policies that promote “traditional” (aka 1950s) values for housewives and women and empower women in the professions are aware of how important it is for women to join the workforce. and they have women in their lives. There are too many examples to list, but I will list a few. Butker's own mother is a physicist.
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Sen. Josh Hawley (R-Missouri), who came to Mr. Butker's defense, is married to the lawyer who argued before the Supreme Court that mifepristone should be illegal. Texas Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) voted against the Pregnant Worker Fairness Act. His wife is a managing director at Goldman Sachs. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) voted against the Equal Pay Act, and his wife served in the cabinets of George W. Bush and Donald Trump. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, whose wife voted to overturn Roe v. Wade, is a well-known activist (and also a seasoned and respected insurrectionist).
All of these men have benefited financially from working women in their own lives. The only people they seem to have problems with are the other women working.
I rarely feel like I have to speak for men, but I will here. Every man should have the right to spend the money earned by his wife. The end result of Butker's worldview is not good for women, but it's not good for anyone else. And I think he knows that.
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