Editor's note: Jill Filipovich is a New York-based journalist and author of the book “OK Boomer, Let's Talk: How My Generation Was Left Behind.”follow her twitter. The opinions expressed in this comment are solely her own. Read more opinions on CNN. This article has been updated to reflect the latest news.
CNN —
Last year, singer Cassie Ventura (also known as “Cassie”) settled a lawsuit accusing Sean “Diddy” Combs of years of physical abuse, including rape and forcing her to have sex with male sex workers.
Provided by: Jill Filipovic
Jill Filipovic.
Following the settlement, his lawyers made it clear that Combs was innocent. “The decision to settle the case, especially in 2023, is in no way an admission of wrongdoing,” Combs' attorney, Ben Brafman, told CNN in a November statement. “Mr. Combs' decision to settle the case does not in any way undermine his blanket denial of the claims. He is pleased that a mutual settlement was reached and wishes Ms. Ventura the best of luck.”
Well, here's the video. And in the face of that irrefutable evidence, Combs finally publicly apologized.
“It's very difficult to reflect on the darkest times in your life, but sometimes you have to,” he said in a video statement posted to Instagram. “I messed up, I hit rock bottom, but I make no excuses. My actions in that video are inexcusable.”
Combs added, “I take full responsibility for my actions in that video. It's disgusting. I was disgusted when I did it. I'm sick of it.”
But here's the problem. When Kathy filed her complaint last year, Combs had the opportunity to take full responsibility. But he did not hold her accountable, instead accusing her of extortion.
Five other cases have been filed against Combs since November, ranging from sexual abuse to sex trafficking, revenge porn and gang rape. Combs and his lawyers called it a “witch hunt,” “money extortion,” “individuals looking for a quick paycheck,” “baseless,” “transparent attempt to garner headlines,” and “done.” denied all allegations such as. I'll lie. ”
In December, Combs posted on Instagram: “For the past few weeks, I have sat silently and watched as people assassinated my person and tried to destroy my reputation and legacy,” he said. “Vulgar allegations have been made against me by people looking for a quick paycheck. Let me be clear: I have done nothing as egregious as is being alleged. I will fight for my name, my family, and my truth.”
Now, at least part of the truth is out, and Mr. Combs is singing a very different tune. After months of not only denial but also smearing various accusers as money-obsessed liars, at least one accuser is admitting to telling the truth.
This makes some wonder if he would have admitted it if it weren't for the video. If not, how sorry would he really be? And how many abusers have adopted Combs' strategy of denying responsibility and painting their accusers as greedy fabricators with legitimate accusations?
The video of Cathy's horrifying assault comes as the United States faces significant funding cuts to domestic violence funds, shelters, victim services, and other support systems, and the US Supreme Court has ruled that people should be protected against domestic violence. It was made public while a lawsuit questioning whether a restraining order had been issued was being considered. People should be legally allowed to own guns. More than a third of women murdered in 2021 were killed by an intimate partner (for men, that number was just 6%).
In the best-case scenario, if Kathy's allegations of abuse are proven, it could encourage other victims to come forward. Combs' repeated and vocal denials and slander of his accusers may serve as an important reminder that while not all accusations of wrongdoing are true, neither are many claims denying wrongdoing. unknown.
In the American criminal justice system, defendants are presumed innocent until proven guilty. But in the court of public opinion, a different calculus applies. When each of us, as individuals, considers accusations of abuse or other serious wrongdoing, a man's word should not automatically trump a woman's just because he is wealthier. Standing out or just because he's a man.
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But it wasn't easy for Cassie to watch what had to be one of the worst moments of her life broadcast to the world. And other women who have survived abuse may be pulled back into emotionally dark places.
No one needs to see such a video to believe what a woman says. After all, the overwhelming majority of domestic violence incidents occur off-camera, at the hands of intimate partners, and often in private. House.
However, I hope this example is instructive. Denial is not always true. Even powerful people with a lot to lose can do terrible things. And while it's good for people who have hurt others to take responsibility and admit wrongdoing, if they confess only after being caught, that confession sounds very hollow.
Resources for Victims of Domestic Violence
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 22522. We are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Connect callers with local resources and immediate support. You can also use our online chat tool.
Help is available all over the world. If you or someone you know is affected by domestic violence, UN Women provides a global directory list. You can also find a list of national agencies at The Pixel Project.
