Regarding the Post's May 20 style column, “Melania Trump's Outfits: Her Clothes Are Armor, Her Hats Are Helmets”:
Rachel Tashjian's fanciful consideration of the many secret signals Melania Trump was sending by choosing to wear a hat to her son's graduation didn't give enough weight to the most obvious reason for the former first lady's decision: It was a daytime, outdoor event in Florida. A photo accompanying the article showed several other women wearing hats, but Trump's hat was the only one that made it into the mix for consideration.
Tashjian joked that “hat has become a bit of a silly fashion gesture. It's a sign of individuality, but mostly it's a sign of sillyness,” but I'd encourage her to remember that people also wear hats for reasons other than purely fashion. Sure, there are plenty of liberals who wear hats for practicality. Hats are a great option for protection from the sun, especially for those who burn easily or are at high risk for skin cancer. Sunscreen is great, but hats won't fade even after a few hours or a sprinkler. If your hair tends to get frizzy after a few hours in Florida humidity, a hat is a great way to tame it. On sunny days, a hat can provide a bit of shade so you can more easily see your son receiving his diploma, or whatever. Finally, as a former Floridian, I can attest that a hat can be a convenient refuge when Florida's tropical weather suddenly changes and the rain starts to fall.
Trump has some very unique choices in fashion and design choices. Her White House Christmas decorations are still in my mind. Her boater hats were not such an offensive choice.
Catherine Hutchins, Norton Shores, Michigan
Rachel Tashjian's column about the outfit Melania Trump wore to her son's high school graduation failed to take into account that Trump is probably still mourning her mother. People in many cultures don't just take off their black clothes when they leave the cemetery after a loved one has died, but continue to wear black for months or even years. My grandmother wore black for five years after my grandfather died, then switched to purple for a while.
Let's stop comparing Trump to Jackie Kennedy and let her dress as she sees fit. I noticed no mention of the former president ditching his usual obnoxious red tie. Sexism is very much alive at The Washington Post, especially when it comes to clothing.
Who wears a hat these days? Someone with style and class.
Melania Trump's hats were stylish and classic, and she may have wanted to protect her face from the sun to prevent skin cancer. While Trump's cutting-edge wardrobe is comparable to caviar, his successor's style choices, some of which resemble Waverly Hills drapery, are closer to cheesesteaks.
Coco Chanel and Jackie Kennedy would have appreciated Trump's outfit.
Deirdre Taylor, Newark, Delaware
To the former First Lady's credit, at least she wasn't wearing an embroidered red baseball cap!
Christine Stello Garner, Woodburn, Oregon
“Does anyone wear hats these days?” fashion writer Rachel Tashjian asked in a May 20 column after Melania Trump was spotted wearing a boater to her son's graduation. Hats, Tashjian wrote, have become “an odd fashion gesture” and a symbol of “clumsiness.” But Tashjian's argument doesn't stop there: In a two-page critique of the retiring nonpolitical activist victim, she said Trump looks like a “trainee gondolier” and “has no idea how to read the room,” among other sarcastic comments.
But then something came to mind. I went back to the front page of the same newspaper and read the story of President Biden's speech at the Morehouse College commencement ceremony on Sunday. [“Biden touts Black gains in Atlanta, Detroit”]It was accompanied by a nearly half-page, full-color photograph of Morehouse graduates proudly praising their new recruits from the stands, in their beautiful white suits and boaters with wide red bands. Do their outfits merit similar criticism?
Regarding Kathleen Parker's May 19th op-ed, “Shaking the Kickers”:
Was Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker, 28, suggesting that married life can be exciting? I mean, it can be exciting sometimes, especially during intense games of Scrabble or Mario Brothers. I guess it was exciting when I argued with my husband last summer about his desire to go outside in the dark to check for live power lines on the ground after a tornado hit our Michigan town.
But in general? No. Marriage isn't this shitty. I've been to faculty meetings that are worse than marriage. I've eaten chocolate that is worse than marriage. I've visited asylums that are worse than marriage. I've watched a season of Bridgerton and wished my marriage was less painful.
Yes, I love my husband. Yes, we have great moments and days together. No, I wouldn't trade them for anything. Yes, I want this life to continue forever, no matter what. And I think my husband would agree with me on this. Sustained excitement in marriage is unattainable and therefore not something to aspire to. And it's not a fantasy to impose on college graduates.
To the men and women graduating from Benedict University, and to all graduates around the world: The excitement has to come from within, to have it all. So much of life is mind-numbingly boring. So much of marriage is constant negotiation and compromise — and I mean, it's just boring.
If you go into marriage and having children expecting them to be the most exciting thing in your life, I guarantee you that the disappointment when you find out they aren't will be unparalleled. I say this as someone who got married at 39, long after I'd moved past the initial falling-in-love stage: expecting your spouse to be your only source of excitement is an unreasonable expectation. If you internalize Butker's words, you're setting your future spouse up for failure.
Never trust anyone who suggests that family life, whatever that definition is to you, is the most exciting thing in life, and especially never trust an athlete worth millions of dollars who can live a lifestyle that most of us can't.
Marriage is not fun, especially after the honeymoon phase. But if you put in the effort and care, and make the right choices at the right time, it can always be fulfilling. I think Mr. Butker has watched too many Disney movies. Now, I wish he'd go to a Taylor Swift concert.
Christina Wyman, Lansing, Michigan
While I, like many others, personally found Harrison Butker’s Benedict College commencement speech ignorant, offensive, and a creepy, veiled wake-up call to the incel community, I agree with Kathleen Parker that he shouldn’t be kicked off the Kansas City Chiefs for it. Those who agree with him, embrace him, and those who disagree, shun him. That’s what most of us do when we encounter someone who degrades us or our loved ones because of our gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, or not following our religion. I wish someone would teach Butker the value of his LGBTQ+ allies and women outside of the home, but kicking him off the football team won’t accomplish that.
What I don’t agree with Ms. Parker about, besides her flippant assertion that Butker’s ability to kick a football is enough to get him into “heaven’s gates,” is her indignant invocation of “cancel culture.” I cannot help but feel this anger on behalf of the wealthy, the privileged, and the socially-established. What worries me more is the widespread and growing attempt to close down real options for women who choose a path other than childbearing and housewifery, for lesbians, gays, and people who choose to live in their true gender identity. Just as the choices of Mr. Butker and his wife are none of our business, the life choices of anyone other than Mr. Butker are none of our business. When will we stop thinking that it is up to us to decide, or ridicule, how someone other than ourselves lives — assuming it’s no harm to anyone?
Thanks Vanderstar, Silver Spring
Regarding Daniel Pink's May 24 column “Why not remake your holiday calendar?”
Daniel Pink wants to take all the fun out of American holidays. He seems to want to turn them into days when you have to participate in civic events and commemorations. Unlike the UK and Canada, the US doesn't have holidays that are just supposed to be days off. They all have a solemn origin. Well, maybe that's the point, but at the same time, for working families with school-age kids, the holidays are the only time they have free time to do whatever they want. Making most holidays weekends opens up more possibilities.
Pink even wants to do away with Presidents' Day. It's the last holiday before the long desert holiday until Memorial Day. What if there's a mattress sale? I don't care if we add a holiday in the spring. Let the people have fun.
David Vandenbroucke, Alexandria
